Through the Lens of a Midlife Crisis

When I first started this blog, I'll admit I had this thought that Jon and I were going to be some sort of famous restaurant bloggers. At the time we had so many conversations with people about the places we went and the food and drinks we liked. We had been to almost all the breweries in town and knew about all the ones coming. We were always looking up favorite local spots and breweries in every town we ever traveled through and found ourselves giving recommendations to hit up cool spots in places like Lusk, Wyoming (The Pizza Place) and Leeds, Alabama (Rusty's Bar-B-Q). And to be honest, the blogging thing was actually going pretty good and I was having a LOT of fun writing about stuff we found interesting. There were a few things I didn't expect though.

One important thing - if you are not already a famous food blogger, but only aspire to be, no one is funding your aspiring blogging career. Small wrinkle. 

Secondly - you should probably up your exercise game because food and beer sure do add on the lbs. 

Lastly, and the most unexpected one for me - you need to be mature enough to handle social media. I'm not talking like, "when are your kids old enough to have a phone and social media accounts?" It's not an age thing, it's a mindset. 

If you want to write about restaurants and food and drink, like, for a living, then people need to care about what you have to say about that and you need people to know who you are. And the modern-day reality is that social media needs to be a part of that. Well, I wasn't mature enough and I'm (now) not afraid to say that. I wasn't. I was totally taken aback at how my mindset and my self confidence was tied into how many followers and how many likes. And when I saw other people doing what I wanted to be doing better than me, I thought, what is even the point?! I'm not special. These are the things we worry about with our teenagers, not ourselves. Well, that's where I was. So, I stopped. I stopped it all. And for the last 4 years I have had an overarching thought that has pissed me off and driven so many things I've done with my life - why did I care so much? Didn't I know myself well enough to not worry about those things? Well, I can tell you (now) that I. Did. Not. 

The unexamined life is not worth living. Or so says Socrates anyway. So, I guess it was time to take a deeper look. Well, except I didn't really at first. It was more like blame, avoid, complain, judge. I became all the things that I worried about being the recipient of. Or I guess I sort of dismissed it all like it was beneath me. "I don't do social media" became my new identity. Not a pretty look. In fact, just as bad a look as the person who was so sad while on social media. But then, some things come along that force you to examine that which is most important to you. Nothing like a global shut-down to force you to retreat and examine just that. Perspective in the most dramatic way possible, but ok, I'll take it. 

Working from home was such a breath of fresh air for me. I would sit out back on my patio with the trees and the wind and the birds, and work, and listen to music, and just breathe. Simplicity became the mantra. A Simple Song and Simple Life would pop up over and over again on Pandora. (Sorry kids, yes, Pandora, not Spotify. Pandora. With commercials - gasp!) I took it as a sign. Keep it simple. Simplicity. Authenticity. Gratitude. Joy. Love. Find it and live it. Every day.

Be aware of social media. Not wary, aware. There are a lot of really cool things. Finding a lost dog due to spreading the word so fast, reuniting with lost loved ones, seeing what your friends are up to half way around the world. So cool. But be aware. Talk to your kids about it. Make sure THEY are aware. Watch The Social Dilemma if you haven't yet. There's a great quote from it - "If you're not paying for the product, then you are the product." Do you want someone else telling you how to think and feel and what to care about? Think about it and just be aware. 

I am what I am, not how others perceive me. (Helena Bonham Carter) I am still me no matter who "likes" what I put out there. So if you've read this far, thank you. If you liked it, thank you. If you didn't, that's ok too. It won't change who I am and I will continue to figure out who that is every day. 

A few final thoughts that I have become passionate about. Some unsolicited advice, if you will...

• Stop drinking bottled water. And soda, my goodness, enough with the soda.
• Stop eating sugar. (And drinking it, see above about the soda.)
• Be kind to your body and be mindful of what you put in it - EVERYthing has an effect on it - some positive, some negative.
• Grow something and encourage everyone you know to grow things. It's what's going to save the world.
• Authenticity is maybe the most important thing in life. Find yours.

So. Welcome to my midlife crisis. It's not as bad as I imagined it would be.